Stuck (Because I Was Made For Loving You)
by NeoSpace147
Summary: Barry and Caitlin are two best friends who have known each other since their freshman year. When Barry starts to harbour feelings for Caitlin, he is ultimately unable to tell her afraid of risking their friendship. However on his final day in Central City before leaving for Coast City, he is faced with the decision to tell her or not... Part of SB Valentine's Day 2017 challenge
1. Where It Started

**_"Stuck (because I was made for loving you)"_**

 ** _A/N: Hey, what's up guys! It's been some time since I write anything. Been going through some serious writers block lately, especially with the lack if snowbarry in the actual show. I'm pretty much running off feels from songs. Two songs inspired me to write this one shot and they are "Stuck" by Darren Espanto and "I Was Made For Loving You" by Tori Kelly ft. Ed Sheeran. Both are beautiful songs so check'em out. This fic was written for a Snowbarry Valentines Day 2017 challenge that was put out by SimplySnowbarry on Tumblr. Before I let you read the story I wanna do a big shout and massive thanks to my good friend WinterBuckySnow for beta reading and for having to go through the mess of fanfiction dms. Anyway without further adieu I hope you guys enjoy the fic. Happy Valentines Day!_**

 ** _Prompt: confession_**

 _ ***I don't own The Flash***_

* * *

The night sky was beautiful, a never ending sheet of dark mystic blue with tiny specs of light scattered across it giving it a certain sparkle. The crescent moon made its appearance as the few clouds in the sky parted completing its beauty. It was chilly but it was the perfect kind of "chilly"; a faint breeze that occasionally blew over that could relax a person or give them a sense of serenity. That was the case for Barry Allen. Clad in tailored black suit and plastic cup in his hands, he leant on the old slightly rusted railings, taking in the view that he could never forget. It had been so many years ago but it was still so clear in his head. Every scene, every word, how could he forget? especially those words... _her_ words...

 _Eight years ago_

"Barry...Barry..Barry? Earth to Barry? Bartholomew!"

"Huh? What?" Barry woke up from his day dream; one that consisted of him and a certain best friend walking romantically along a boardwalk during a sunset just like those scenes in a cheesy romance flicks. His eyes quickly found the confused face of one, Caitlin Snow looking at him. Her eye brows furrowed but along with it was an adorable smile that partially revealed her pearly whites. Her chestnut hair came down straight just past her shoulders with such grace. _God she's so beautiful_ Barry thought as he opened his mouth to reply but couldn't bring any words to come out, he was just speechless.

"I'm sorry, I was..."

"Day dreaming?"

"Yeah.."

Barry smiled and breathed out. He then returned his attention to the view in front him, unforgettable sights filled with forgettable memories. Places like the the bleachers and the football field were places full of painful and embarrassing memories, but still he can't help but feel tied to them; like they are a part of what made him who he was now.

"Off jet-skiing with a supermodel again?" Caitlin laughed knowing how common it was for her best friend to drift away into his little fantasies wherever he was.

"Something like that"

He lied knowing it would only be awkward if he told her that; that instead of jet skiing, it was a walk along the beach and instead of a supermodel it was someone more important to him, her. There would be a silence between them as they both admired the view. A peaceful silence, as they reminisced their memories of the place. Caitlin would be the one to break that silence as she noticed the look on Barry's face.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

"What makes you think I'm thinking about anything? Maybe I'm just breathing in the fresh Central City air and enjoying my freedom from this place."

"Bartholomew Henry Allen, as your best friend I know almost all your mannerisms and I also know that as much as you hate this place you also love this place."

"That...is true...because if I never attended this school I wouldn't have met you and what would I do without you right?" Barry replied sarcastically.

"Exactly" Caitlin grinned cheekily and laughed.

She really was grateful for this place too for the exact same reason. As lonely as it sounds, she found her best friends there at Fairview High; Barry, Iris and Eddie. Although out of those three Barry was the closest. Maybe it was their common love for science or the fact that their opposite personalities made them closer to each other like the scientific saying went; that opposites attract. Barry had always been so open while she usually needed a lot of time to warm up to someone. She wouldn't admit it but she truly believed that there was something about him that she was comfortable with or rather that she liked.

"I am gonna miss being here with you though." Barry admitted to her.

"Well you didn't have to take that offer at Coast City" Caitlin came back at him with a smirk.

"But they have like the best forensics course and facilities there!" He reasoned raising his arms.

"Yeah but you have your friends here!" Caitlin copying his actions.

"Are you saying I can't make new friends?" Barry acted as if he was hurt and offended.

"Nooooo I'm saying it would've been greatly appreciated if you had decided to take the forensics course offered here at Central City so that you could have the best of both worlds." Caitlin raised her pointer finger like she was making a point. "But seriously things won't be the same without you around."

"We always have emails? Skype? We could even write letters if you want." They looked at each other and bursted laughing knowing that this'll probably one of their last proper conversations in a while. They both knew they'd miss each other's company, after almost seeing, talking and hanging out every day

"I'll miss you Barry."

"I'll miss you too Cait."

"C'mon let's go outta here. Big Belly Burger on me?" Barry offered, one Caitlin was glad to accept.

"I'd love that"

Smiling again as they slung their bags over their shoulder and left their favourite spot on the roof of the high school. Caitlin smiled as she walked along side him. She thinks about how he's changed since they first met. She remembers when she used to be a little taller than him and how scrawny he was back when they were freshmen. Gradually he'd grow taller than her, a bit more muscular and his voice deeper. She wasn't a stranger to puberty, she was going through changes at the time too, but she couldn't helped but be amazed by him. She was always amazed by him. Barry tried his hardest to maintain his cool as they walked together. He'd blush every time their hands would brush off each other. He remembered a time when them hanging out used to be so normal; no crushes, no romantic feelings, no fear of ruining a friendship he now was feeling at that moment. It was a simpler time, _one less painful_ he thought to himself. He wasn't really sure how he fell for Caitlin. For two years they had been friends and he never really expected to suddenly feel differently about her.

He precisely remembers when it came about; a casual night out for a movie and some dinner with Eddie and Iris where both of them were really just third wheels on their date. He remembers how she looked that night, the simple elegance that she bore with her skinny jeans, boots and a buttoned shirt and sweater combo seemed so beautiful to him and when she'd smile at him he'd feel butterflies in his stomach, a sensation he hadn't experienced with her ever before. At the time it was weird to him; how she'd make him feel this way. Sure he had crushes before but with Caitlin it felt different. After that night when he walked her home, hugging her didn't feel like it did before. Even with a hot coffee in his hands they would go cold when she'd wrap her arms around him. He would also suddenly become increasingly aware of her features, the way her body and her face curved, the way her hair felt against the side of his face, the way her eyes twinkled like stars in the night, the way her smile seemed so caring and warm - it felt like he didn't want to leave her arms. That night he found it hard to sleep and it wasn't because of the caffeine they had consumed earlier that night, it was the constant thought of Caitlin running through his head, questioning what he truly felt about her and if it was all real; a question that with the help of Iris he would realise was true, that his feelings for her were real.

However it was just his luck when he'd planned ask her to go to their junior prom and confess his feelings that he'd find out she had been talking to Ronnie Raymond, an upperclassman of theirs, player on the football team also head of the maths club; adding that they've started to go on dates and asking her to the prom with it. It was just his luck that at the time when he finally mustered up the courage, he'd been too late. For the rest of the year he'd watch them as a couple and him becoming exclusively a third wheel for both Eddie and Iris, and Caitlin and Ronnie but of course he'd just smile away and say he's happy for them, because that's what best friends did. Now at the brink of him leaving for college, he thinks nervously whether he should tell her or just leave it under covers and try move on...but then he wonders if he needs to tell her to be able to move on...

* * *

"So are you going to Iris' party later?" Caitlin asked as they sat down at a booth, Barry putting the food tray down in front of them.

"Ermm...I don't know, I still got some packing to do and my parents might want me to have one last dinner with them." Barry sighed.

Truthfully he was unsure if he should go or not. He wasn't a party person and he also wouldn't mind not seeing Caitlin and Ronnie being a couple throughout the night while he stood at a corner binge drinking soda just trying to wait until everything was over. His excuse was partially valid though; he still did need to finish packing and he did want to eat with his family before he left, but also truth be told he did have enough time to do all of those.

"Oh, right of course."

Caitlin smiled but inside she couldn't help but feel a strange heaviness in her chest, like his answer made her heart drop. She shouldn't be because who was she to take him away from his family but for some reason she did, like she just wanted to keep seeing him. _Maybe I'm just anxious about Barry leaving?_ She thought trying to focus on her food. She didn't notice her smile had faded into a thin line - something Barry didn't fail to notice.

"Cait, are you okay?" Barry caught her attention, immediately finding her eyes. He always knew when there was something wrong or if something bothered her. As much as she knew him, he also knew her.

"Yeah I'm fine...Just hungry" She smiled again before biting into her burger.

"Are you sure?"

"Completely, positively sure"

"Your biting your lower lip again" Barry briefly giggled noticing her habit whenever something was bothering her.

"I am?"

"Yes, so spill. What's up?" Barry dropped his burger and wiped his mouth.

"Nothing you should worry about, I promise." She reassured him with a smile, hoping he would stop at that moment but knowing Barry she knew he wouldn't stop until he found out what was wrong.

"Is this about me possibly not going to the party?"

"No...I mean...I..."

"If you really want me to go, I can always make time." Barry sighed but returned a smile at her.

"Barry you don't have to do that. You shouldn't"

"No Cait it's fine, I was planning to anyway. I'm pretty sure Iris wants me to go too. My mom and dad will understand plus we still have around 8 hours more to bond on the road so a night with my best friends isn't gonna bother them." He told her, he just wanted her to be happy and if that meant being a third wheel then he'd do it and Iris could always bail him out if he needed to get out.

"Okay." She replied with a small curve of her lips, feeling a little embarrassed of her request for him to be there.

They both smiled at each other again. Caitlin's seemingly more genuine than before and Barry had one of mixed emotions inside; he loved seeing the joy in her eyes, it made her shine even more. For Caitlin she felt that strange heaviness vanish from her and in return she received some positive jolt of energy and a wave of calm. They both ate in peace, comfortable with their small talk in between, about college life, Coast City and what would Barry's life be like there. Jokes would be shared about him returning with a six pack and possibly his day dream of jet skiing with a model coming true.

"Thanks for the meal"

"Anytime! Well not really since I'm leaving but whenever I'm here sure" Barry and Caitlin made their way out of the fast food joint and started their journey home.

"Good to know that I'll always have a friend to rely on for free Big Belly Burger."

Caitlin nudged at Barry's arm laughing and walking side by side. They cherished the last time of walking home from school together, passing by the places that provided much nostalgia.

"Your stop" Barry said as they halted in front of the Snow residence. He takes a quick glance spotting Ronnie's car parked at the drive way.

"Yup...I guess I'll see ya later at Iris' place?" Caitlin asked again just to make sure.

"Yes you will."

The two lean in for a quick goodbye hug before pulling away. Barry's hand lingering on her arm before letting go. They stood there for unmoving for a few seconds, which was something they hadn't done before. Usually it was a quick drop off but both of them felt that something was missing. They both stood quietly unsure of what was happening until Barry gave her a final nod goodbye and turning his back. He waved goodbye as he looked over his should, watching as the door to her home opened, Ronnie emerging and greeting her with a hug and a kiss to the head. Barry winced at the sight - he hopes that when he's away the pain will be left here at Central City.

* * *

"So you are coming to my party?" Iris' voice slightly modulated came through her mic. Barry could hear her slightly heaving as she went up and down the stairs preparing for the party.

"Yes I am. I'm just packing stuff at the moment and gonna have some dinner with my parents but I'll be there." Barry responded as he folded and put his clothes in a suitcase.

"I'm glad you decided to go. I thought you were gonna lock yourself at home again just to not see Ronnie and Caitlin." Barry rolled his eyes at her remark but inside he knew it was true.

"I'm going for Caitlin."

"Speaking of Caitlin...are you going to tell her before you go?"

Barry stopped for a moment and swallowed. He hadn't thought of telling her throughout the day and he wonders if he had the strength to do so.

"Barry...?"

"I'm here, but I don't know yet."

"Barry, I know how scary this is; telling your best friend that you like them more than just a friend is no easy task, one in a relationship at that - especially when it feels like your friendship is on the line, but listen all I want for you is to move on and that's up to you. Do what's good for you Bar." A silence followed after Iris had told him this. Barry had to think about what he was gonna do. He knew what he needed to do and that Iris was right.

"Thanks Iris, I'll think about it, I promise" the only words Barry replied with.

"Anyway I still need to cook some stuff so I'll catcha later!"

"Bye Iris, tell Eddie I said "hi""

"Will do, bye Bar!"

With that Barry hung up the phone, tossing it on his bed, sighing and rubbing the bridge of his nose. Never in his life did he think the most stressing thing in his life would be telling a girl about his feelings - but then again it would be disrespectful for him to call Caitlin just "a girl" in his life. Barry continued to pack, the question of whether to tell Caitlin or not lurking in his deepest thoughts.

"Barry, dinner's ready!" Barry was notified by his mother's voice coming from the hallway. At that point he had finished packing all the clothes he was bringing and other personal items into a box. He then made his way to the dining table where his mom had made him his favourite spaghetti and meatballs with homemade garlic bread. He smiled half heartedly at his parents as he took his seat. This was something else he would also miss, his parents company, his mom and dad cooking his favourite dishes. He had expected himself to be feeding on pot noodles for the next four years. He'd love to cherish this moment but his mind wouldn't rest.

"Is everything alright slugger?" Henry immediately noticed something bothering his son just by the way his face looked and his reaction to the food in front of him. "You haven't even finished a plate yet and you act like you're done with your food."

"Something on your mind beautiful boy?" Nora followed after her husband taking notice of their son, hoping he'd be more willing to open up to both of them.

"It's just..." Barry spoke but couldn't quite explain.

"You're gonna miss us?" Henry joked smiling at Nora before going back to Barry who weakly snickered.

"I will...but that's not the issue." Barry took a deep breath. He knew he could tell his parents anything and could ask for advice on anything his heart desired. "Mom...Dad...I like Caitlin." He watched his parents reactions and to his surprise they laughed amongst themselves leaving him confused.

"We've known that for quite some time honey, ever since we saw that little look in your eye and you acting differently around her whenever she came over." Nora smiled at Barry who still looked surprised.

"All this time you knew?" Barry swallowed still a little shocked. _He wasn't that obvious was I?_ he thought.

"Is your problem about telling Caitlin about your feelings?" Henry guessed as he had been the those shoes before as a young buck himself back in his teenage days. Barry nodded in response.

Henry took a deep breath and a drink of water before he spoke, "Well slugger, you got yourself in quite the situation here. You don't want to ruin your friendship and you don't want to cause trouble to her current relationship with Ronnie. So you're asking yourself what can you do to save both? The answer is nothing." Barry narrowed his eyes at his father not completely understanding what he meant.

"Let me explain...everything you do will have a repercussion and because of this you never know what'll happen next so it's a risk you're gonna have to take. Life is full of challenges, it's quite a bumpy road Barry. You don't even know how much trouble I had to go through before I could conquer med school and then meet your mother. So Barry whatever choice you make, whether you tell her or not, I want you to know that there's multiple paths ahead, happy and sad, but also you're still young son, you have so much time to fix anything that is broken. Cheer up and chin up slugger" Henry taking Nora'a hand in the midst of his advice.

"Thanks Dad" He smiled at his parents, who held each others hands lovingly. Maybe he was looking at the situation too narrowly and that his dad was right he was young and he had a long life ahead of him, so he'll make the decision that'll be better for him, he thought himself. After that they continued to eat Barry's appetite more present now.

"Thanks for earlier mom, dad"

"Anytime slugger."

"You better get going. Don't go home too late okay. Love you sweety"

"Love you mom"

Barry waved as he began his short journey to the West household where a "exam results night party" was being held for his class. Iris' dad Joe who had a night shift tonight was at first hesitant to let her have a party but Iris was able to convince him. He could never say no to her but as long as she followed his rules - meaning no alcohol or no sexual activities. The walk didn't take too long for their houses were only a few blocks away from each other, Barry immediately spotting the brightly lit home surrounded by multiple cars parked out on the driveway.

 _Here goes nothing_ , Barry thought as he ran up to the porch greeting some of his classmates hanging out outside, cigarettes in between their fingers and hopefully a red plastic cup of soda in the other.

* * *

As expected the house was packed with young adults mingling and some swaying; those same red cups in their hand - some with a slice of pizza in the other - the surround sound speakers blaring some pop songs which Barry found quite catchy; taking note of some lyrics he could google later on to find the song. He greets some more people, making his way to the kitchen to find Iris talking to her guests.

"Barry!" She spotted her best friend enter. "Glad you could make it! Here have a drink."

"Hey and what is this?" Barry hugged her and quickly asked suspiciously looking at the liquid in the cup.

"It's iced tea Barry." She chuckled rolling her eyes. "I honestly didn't think there would be this many people that would come but the more the merrier right!?"

"I guess...speaking of which where's Eddie?" Barry replied taking a sip of his drink which was indeed iced tea.

"He's picking some pizzas. He'll be back soon."

"And where's Caitlin?" He asked rubbing his nape, trying to not seem awkward.

"You know next time, you could just get to the point." Iris teased him before turning him around and gently pushing him towards the screen door leading to the backyard. "She's there and guess what? Ronnie's not with her." Iris winked at him before making her way back to the party inside. Barry rolled his eyes at his best friend but that was Iris, she always had his back. Barry would look around seeing some small groups scattered around the the backyard. His eyes would find Caitlin sitting at a bench with a drink and her phone in her hands. She wore a simple outfit of a hoodie, a violet flannel with a grey t-shirt inside, black leggings and a pair of low cut converse. Barry relaxed himself as he went up to her, casually strolling to the wooden bench.

"Hey you mind if I take a seat?" Barry asked catching her attention.

"Well if your name if Barry Allen, is 18 years old and is 6'2" in height then...I guess I don't" Caitlin joked as she moved to make space for her best friend.

"That's not how you're going to try to make friends in college are you? - Ow!"

"Rude!" Caitlin punched his arm before crossing her arms in front of her and deciding to rest her head on his shoulder. They laughed for a little bit before settling down.

"I still can't believe you're leaving tomorrow." She spoke with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"To be honest it's pretty surreal for me too. I'm just so used to life here that I may be just a little scared to let go of what I have here." He looked down at her, he had gotten so comfortable having Caitlin around and he doesn't want to lose her in both ways, friendship wise and with his feelings for her.

"Distance won't tear us apart right?" She looked up at him, eyes filled with hope but also searching for reassurance.

"No, never." He smiled at her in return, giving that reassurance she needed. Mirroring his smile, Barry could see how Caitlin relaxed, her body becoming less tense from his words.

"So where's Ronnie?" Barry cleared his throat, wondering where her boyfriend had gone. He had been there to celebrate getting her exam results earlier that day but he wasn't present at the party.

"He uh had to finish a project back at the uni, ya know engineering students" Caitlin explained the lack of her boyfriend's presence. She'd prefer him to be here with her but being there with Barry was just as good or possibly even better for some reason - she never felt alone with Barry.

"Speak for yourself Dr. Caitlin Snow, future bio-engineer!" Barry teased, his hand gliding in front of him like he was picturing some kind of banner or billboard with Caitlin's name on it.

"And geneticist" Caitlin added smirking at him.

"Of course how could I forget! Ms. Double Major!" Barry shook his head, rolling his eyes at her. He couldn't help but be proud of her, double majors were hard but he knew if anyone could push through them,it would be the one and only Caitlin Snow. Throughout the night they'd talk and talk and talk more about their memories while drinking iced tea and eating pizza. They'd spend most of their time isolated from the party but they didn't mind, they rather spend their remaining time together and Iris and Eddie didn't mind them doing that; they knew how important Barry and Caitlin were to each other..maybe even more than they knew themselves.

* * *

"Thanks for having me." Caitlin hugged the young couple, thanking them for inviting her.

"Anytime Caity" Iris replied with smile.

"I hope I'll see you guys tomorrow before I depart?" Barry following after Caitlin's example.

"Wouldn't miss it!" Iris replied as she and Eddie escorted the two friends to the door.

"Goodnight guys" Caitlin waved Iris and Eddie goodbye as she joined Barry who was walking her home.

"Well that was fun and we were totally sociable people during the party." Caitlin joked, skipping a little ahead of Barry and turning to face him while walking backwards.

"The most sociable people" Barry followed along with the joke, Caitlin shortly returning to his side.

"The sky looks great tonight." Caitlin noticed looking up.

"Yeah, for a city full of lights I'm surprised we can still see some stars up there."

"I bet there are more stars in Coast City."

"Maybe, I guess I'll see in a few days." Barry shrugged looking down at Caitlin who placed her hands in her pockets, discretely sighing.

"While I'll just be here. Good 'ol Central City" Caitlin let out a short sigh.

"You can always visit you know...so we can both see what the Coast City night sky looks like together." Smiling down at her, he could feel being satisfied just seeing her smile back at him.

"I think I'd like that." Barry always seemed to know to lift her spirits.

They soon reach the front lawn of the Snow residence. They stop and do what they always did saying goodbye to each other but this time they had a sense of not wanting to let go. They both felt like they didn't want the night to end. Caitlin wished that the next day she'd know her best friend would still be there by her side or just a few minutes away, Barry also feeling the same. When they finally pull away they look deeply in each other's eyes and their lips curve up, knowing they had to go their own way then and there. They both let go of each other and Caitlin turned to walk towards her porch. As she did, Barry knew had to make that decision now that this moment was the right one and whatever happens he'll just deal with it but what's important is the now. With advice from Iris and his Dad in mind, he just went for it.

"Cait, wait." Barry grabbed her arm, Caitlin looking back at him, eyes gleaming as if he was about to cry.

Was he going to tell her? Barry closed his eyes for a second to gather his thoughts and then he took a deep breath _..._

"Yeah?" Caitlin turned to face him, quickly seeing that something was on his mind.

"It's just...I want to tell you something" Barry put his hands in his pockets, feeling them going cold.

"Okay I'm listening" Caitlin said so innocently unaware of the possible reveal in front of them.

"I..." Barry swallowed and exhaled. This was it and his decision was made.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Okay so this is where is kinda gets interesting - depends on how you see it really lol. You guys get to pick whether Barry tells her or not and depending on the choice you get a different ending.**_

 _ **\- If you want Barry to tell Caitlin, you can go ahead and skip to the very last chapter "Ch3: Because I Was Made For Loving You".**_

 _ **\- If you want Barry NOT to tell Caitlin you can go to the next chapter "Ch2: Stuck".**_

 _ **Of course you can always read both endings. I just thought this was a fun idea. I'll see you on the other side :)**_


	2. Stuck

_***You have chosen not to tell Caitlin. Let's continue where we left off shall we?"***_

[...] "I..." Barry swallowed and exhaled. This was it and his decision was made.

"I just want to tell you whatever happens, I'll always be by your side and I'll always be here for you. Don't ever forget that. Promise me that please."

With that Barry decided to keep his feelings to himself, he chose not to compromise what they had because he was satisfied and if one day he still feels the same way and he's given a chance to be with her then he'll let destiny guide him.

"I promise I will." Caitlin stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him, Barry's arm doing the same. She wasn't sure why Barry had to tell her this but she did know it made him feel better. She could tell from how he breathed - calm like he was relieved of something. After that they finally separated, Caitlin telling him she'd come see him in the morning before he left.

As she lay on her bed, one thing did make her curious but this wasn't about Barry...it was about her. When Barry had told her he was going to tell her something, she felt her heart beat faster than normal but it wasn't out of worry but rather it almost felt like it was out of some sort anticipation. This lead her to ask herself what she could be anticipating from him?

* * *

The next morning the both of them said goodbye to each other again, more emotional with tears and their hundredth reminder to "keep in touch". There was something different about Caitlin that morning which Barry seemed noticed, she smiled as she watched him get into the car but her eyes didn't look like the eyes of a best friend who was going to miss him and Caitlin had never looked at him like this before. Her eyes showed something deeper than that, deeper than friendship? Maybe he was just over-analysing the situation and wanted to believe that there could've been something.

During his college years, he did try to let Caitlin go and tried dating other girls thinking he had genuine feelings for them but they just never seemed to work out as much as he wanted them to. His mind would always come back to the girl in his hometown that just didn't feel the same. One time he began to question whether the universe was conspiring against him. Throughout the start of their college years he and Caitlin would speak through emails and video calls but they never got to visit each other - college work and projects getting in the way and keeping them preoccupied. Soon enough their communication would die down to just occasional emails but that soon turned into nothing but looking at each other's social media profiles when they had the time. At some point all he knew was that she was making friends one named Francisco Ramon and Eliza Harmon and she was still with Ronnie - happy with him. While was there he was in his dorm room questioning his decision of not telling her the truth that night hoping that one day he'd be completely over her and he did have a chance to do just that with one named Patty Spivot, who seemed to catch his interest unlike every other girl he dated...

* * *

 _Present_

It has been 8 years since that day and here he was where it all started.

"Back to daydreaming?" A familiar voice sounded behind him making him smile.

"Not really! My day dreaming days are kinda long gone." Barry laughed as he turned to Caitlin behind him. She looked wonderful in her dress, a magnificent shade of blue complimenting her snow white complexion and her hair tied to a neat bun, still chestnut brown but now with streaks of blonde. He felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of her. They went for a quick hug before separating, something didn't feel the same and they could both feel it. They just figured it was the time away from each other.

"Does this mean you have now jet skied with a super model and now have a six pack?" Caitlin asked cheekily.

"Well no and no, but I did go jet skiing. It was fun."

"Good to know that you were having fun while I was in my dorm room studying my ass off." Caitlin rolled her eyes at him. She was happy he enjoyed his time in Coast City, deep inside she would've there with him to experience that.

"Did you just arrive? Barry asked walking back to lean on the railings.

"I did and kinda late I know" She laughed and joined him at the railing, feeling the nostalgia of them being there.

"Kinda? The party's almost over." Barry joked as he took a sip of his drink.

"It's the thought that counts." Caitlin followed, she had missed interacting with Barry and not just through a camera, seeing him and hearing his voice in person was so much better. It had been a long while, too long.

"At least you're fashionably late." Barry complimented her. If he's learned anything in college it was self confidence and he was over Caitlin so it shouldn't really matter when he's complimenting a friend.

"I could say the same about you! Since when did Barry Allen wear suits? Where and what have you done to Bartholomew Henry Allen!?" Caitlin joked. Barry had changed, more charismatic and seemingly more matured, never ceased to amaze her.

"I can assure you that he's all right here, just better." Barry smiled, proud of how much he's grown as a person since eight years ago.

"So how's the life of a bioengineer at STAR Labs?" He asked seriously. He was curious about how her life was now, they had a lot of catching up to do.

"It's not as fun as you think. A lot of research and overtime but it's nice you get that sense that you're helping people." She expressed her passion for her work which didn't surprise Barry, Caitlin had always been passionate about helping people. Barry admired this value.

"How about you? How's the life of a forensic scientist." Caitlin looked up at him.

"Chemicals, blood, dead bodies, photos of dead bodies, ya know what you would expect from the job but hey I do love putting crooks behind bars with science." He shrugged as he replied. It was really nothing special. A silence followed after them which back then wasn't an issue but time and distance really did bring them apart and they both knew that.

"It's still so nice up here, it's been so long...8 years" Caitlin looked out at the view, astonished by its beauty..

"It has been quite some time.." Barry turned to the view once more, taking it all in. Caitlin took a sip of her own drink before she entered the next subject, feeling a bit out of line.

"How are you and Patty these days?" She asked which took Barry by surprise. Barry cleared his throat and felt a little awkward inside knowing she was uninformed of their parting.

"Patty and I broke up a few months ago before I moved here." He spoke without looking at her.

"Oh...I'm sorry." It was something Caitlin didn't expect to hear. They had looked so happy together in the photos she say online. "Also you moved back here?"

"It's fine, it was under mutual terms." Barry shrugged and took a drink. "And yeah just a few days ago, I thought it'd be nice to go home plus there was an opening here with higher pay. Only thing they didn't mention was sharing a lab with an English elitist and a captain who dislikes me." He scrunched his nose at her.

"But hey at least you're back right?" She smiled at him with happiness that he was familiar with. It was that genuine smile, one he's missed.

"How are you and Ronnie?"

Caitlin opened her mouth to answer but she was hesitant to say something.

"Cait, you okay?" He looked for her eyes that seemed to stare out into the space.

"Huh? Yeah...actually Ronnie and I through thick and thin...finally got engaged." She gave him a wide smile and revealed a white gold ring decorated with a diamond as the centre piece.

Barry was left speechless for a few seconds. A twitching in his chest from his teenage years resurfacing. How was he this affected by the news? He was over her wasn't he? He had proven that? Barry's head was a cyclone of questions. He pulled a small smile to his face and pulled Caitlin into him for another quick hug. "Congratulations" he said holding himself together. "I'm so happy for you Cait." He looked into her eyes, stopping himself from tearing up. He shouldn't be sad. _I shouldn't be feeling this way..._

"Thanks Barry...And I'd love it if you could come to wedding. It's in a three months, I hope that's enough time for you to sort out your schedule. I'll just send you an invitation, I don't have one on me." Caitlin could see something in his eyes and she wished she could know what it was.

"Of course, remember I promised you I'd always be by your side." He smiled and laughed lightly. Caitlin understanding his reference to eight years ago laughed with him.

"I can't believe it" Barry spoke trying his best to keep his spirit up.

"Me neither" Caitlin replied.

They hugged again Caitlin closing her eyes happy to know her best friend would be there for her on probably one of the most important days of her life. Behind her back Barry closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his conscience telling him to be happy for her but his heart just wouldn't let him. Finally a tear would shed from his eye but as it reached the end of his face and drop down onto Caitlin's shoulder, rainfall would follow. They would then separate and both of them would look up into the sky, letting the rain drops fall on them gradually.

"Come on let's get out of here. Big Belly Burger on me?" He offered her just like he did many years ago.

"In these!?" Caitlin motioned to her dress and his suit, thinking if they were dressed too fancy for a fast food joint.

"Why not!?" Barry chuckled and then held out his hand to her. "Let's go?"

Caitlin rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Let's go." She said through a smile, taking Barry's hand. That night she felt a happiness she couldn't explain, seeing Barry again, being by his side, talking to him - it all felt right to her..she could say she felt free...

* * *

 _3 months later..._

Barry exhaled as he got out of his car. This was it. The day had come. _Her day_. He locked the door and looking at his reflection in the mirror, making sure his hair looked neat, if his tie was aligned with everything and he straightened his suit jacket. Taking a look up at the sky, it was clear with no clouds to be found, the sun shone its radiant rays down making everything so much brighter and livelier . It was supposed to be a happy day after all.

"You okay slugger?" Henry caught his attention.

"Yeah Dad, I'm good" He smiled back at them in assurance.

"Come on, let's get seated" Nora took Henry arm in arm and off the Allen family went.

They greeted some guests composed of friends, colleagues, Snow and Raymond family relatives; Barry taking his time when he greeted Caitlin's parents as he entered. Mr. and Mrs. Snow had always been kind to him and he remembers when they used to joke about when him and Caitlin getting married or acting like a couple. He just laughs at those memories now.

Following his parents in, he entered the church, greeting more people. He had never been a religious man but he always thought there was a certain mystique in churches. For him it always felt like a place of peace, a place of celebration, a place of love - he felt out of place. He found his seat in second bench to the front where he was joined by his parents and The West family and Eddie. They had a great view of the alter from there.

Everyone stood up as the ceremony began, the organ's song filling the entire church as the everyone involved in the wedding walked the down the aisle until it was only the bride left. Barry looked at Ronnie at the alter, dressed in a cream coloured suit, he could see his hand slightly shaking in anticipation. _He must feel like the luckiest man alive_ , Barry thought - envy consuming his heart at that moment. Then came Caitlin the arm of her father, dressed in white with a veil over her head. She was so beautiful - the most beautiful she's ever been; she glowed as the sunlight seemed to become her spotlight. Suddenly she was the only thing he could see and her foot steps to the altar the only thing he could hear. He only wished that he would be the one waiting for her. He was sure Ronnie was seeing the same thing. Barry couldn't see her face properly from the veil but he smiled as she glanced at him. She did the same but Barry wasn't sure if he saw something different about her smile - thinking it was just the veil.

The ceremony continued with Caitlin and Ronnie at the altar. Throughout the ceremony Barry remained calm but inside with every few minutes passing he knew the inevitable was coming and soon the everything would done. Everyone stood once again when the priest motioned for them to. Barry closed his eyes, feeling his eyes well up knowing this was it. He bit down on his bottom lip trying to counter the tightening of his heart - wishing that it hurt more than his chest did. His mind replaying all the memories of him and Caitlin, all his opportunities to tell her, god he wished he had told her and perhaps maybe things would be different right now, the look in her eyes when he left for Coast City - they never really mattered, because she never felt the same.

 _"Do you Ronald Raymond take Caitlin Snow to be lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part."_

"I do" Ronnie replied gleefully, smile wide on his face. Excited for the future his one and only Caitlin. They had ran through their problems and finally they were there moments away from becoming forever.

 _"Do you Caitlin Snow take Ronald Raymond as your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part."_

Barry braced himself for the two word but he made sure open at his eyes to see her smile, to see her happy, because it wasn't _his_ day, it was _hers_ and he should be happy for her - he _will_ be happy for her, in time. Except a silence followed after the priest's question. Barry looked at Caitlin wondering what was happening and that's when she turned to him with those eyes...those same eyes as when he left for Coast City. He shows her his small smile of resilience but she smiled weakly back at him, unknown as to what it means. She closes her eyes and returns to look at Ronnie in front of her. Barry put his head down as he expected the words to come from her mouth. Those everlasting words with her sweet voice that he wished she was telling him.

 _"I..do-"_

* * *

 _ **A/N: By the time you read this you might be wondering why I would write angst for Valentines Day? Tbh I don't know either xD but regardless of that I hope you liked it and thank you so much for reading the fic! Would be very grateful for a review! I hope you had a good Valentines Day or just a good day in general if you don't celebrate! Feel free to check out the other ending by clicking onto the next chapter "Ch3: Because I Was Made For Loving You". Once again thank you for reading and until next time I'll see ya! :)**_


	3. Because I Was Made For Loving You

_***You have chosen to tell Caitlin. Let's continue where we left off shall we?***_

"I..." Barry swallowed and exhaled. This was it and his decision was made.

"Caitlin...I like you..and more than just best friends." Barry's eyes teared up as he finally confessed, receiving a blank face from Caitlin. She was clearly in shock.

"Si...Since when?..." Caitlin stuttered still surprised by her best friend's revelation.

"Since junior year...I ah..wanted to tell you if we went to prom together but then you told me about you and Ronnie...And I guess I just folded and kept my mouth shut." Barry tried his best to not break down in front of her, holding back his tears.

"I didn't want to ruin what we had together. I...didn't want to ruin our friendship. I didn't want to make things awkward...I just didn't want to lose you." Barry breathed shakily, bowing his head as his eyes couldn't contain his tears any longer. He wiped them with his eyes to return his attention back to her. Caitlin opened her mouth but she couldn't seem to get the words out.

"Barry...you..." Caitlin bit her bottom lip before she could continue. She didn't want to hurt him; he already looked hurt enough. If his feelings for her wasn't the subject matter of the conversation she would comfort him but at that time she was unsure of what to actually do about it. "You know I can't do that with you..you're my best friend and I'm with Ronnie..I.." Caitlin swallowed as her own eyes started welling up. She knew she was hurting him with every word but she needed to say it, what else could she say?. Truthfully her mind was still a mess.

"I know...and it's okay." He smiled weakly at her. "I completely understand that..I just needed to tell before I left...so that maybe it'll help me move on with my life...and...and maybe find a girl who'll see me the way I always wanted you to see me." He felt his chest getting lighter but at the same time his heart felt like it was being pulled from its place.

"I'm so sorry Barry." Caitlin said through her tears, stepping forward, her instincts telling her to hug him; but he wouldn't let her.

Barry took a step back as she tried to close the distance between them; Caitlin receiving the message.

"Don't be. None of this is on you okay so please don't ever blame yourself. Goodnight Caitlin." He smiled at her again briefly before turning to go home.

Caitlin watched as he walked away, still trying to believe that everything that happened was real. Wiping her tears away she herself turned to enter her home.

"Goodnight Barry." She whispered as he faded away in the distance.

The next morning the both of them said goodbye to each other again but they knew that it didn't feel the same. Their hug that had become such a staple to their friendship felt somewhat uncomfortable. They both knew that the confession had everything to do with it and as much as they wished that they didn't have to go through this awkward situation, they knew it was part of the process. They just hoped that everything would be okay in the future and they'd repair the tear in their bond. Barry looked back as the car drove away from his home, seeing his friends wave goodbye at him and then there was Caitlin, he could tell her eyes were welling up at that moment because so were his. He wished they had a proper goodbye but with what happened the night before it was inevitable.

"You okay honey?" Nora turned to her son behind her who seemed down.

"I will be." Barry smiled through his tears.

His first year in college would prove quite difficult for him which what he had predicted, he was a newcomer to the city and he had no friends at the time along with it was his emotional struggle of letting go of his feelings for Caitlin. However as the years went by naturally he got used to everything and his feelings seemed to have dissipated with time or rather he just forgot about them like it went to hibernate. In his time in college Caitlin and him barely talked. It had only been in his final year that she started replying to his emails more frequently and during his first and second year they didn't communicate. When his parents moved to Coast City he was filled with happiness and with that paired with his busyness with college, he never got a chance to return to Central City. A highlight of his college years would be Patty Spivot, a classmate of his that seemed to catch his attention and charm him in a way he never really felt before.

* * *

 _Present_

It has been 8 years since that day and here he was where it all started.

"Back to daydreaming?" A familiar voice sounded behind him making him smile.

"Not really! My day dreaming days are kinda long gone." Barry laughed as he turned to Caitlin behind him. She looked wonderful in her dress, a magnificent shade of blue complimenting her snow white complexion and her hair tied to a neat bun, still chestnut brown but now with streaks of blonde. He felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of her. Caitlin's eyes seemed to sparkle a certain way when she looked at him but he didn't put to much thought into it. They greeted each other with a hug, one they didn't expect to last as long as it did and as tight as it was.

"Does this mean you have now jet skied with a super model and now have a six pack?" Caitlin asked cheekily.

"Well no and no, but I did go jet skiing. It was fun."

"Good to know that you were having fun while I was in my dorm room studying my ass off." Caitlin rolled her eyes at him. She was happy he enjoyed his time in Coast City, deep inside she would've loved to be there with him to experience that.

"Did you just arrive? Barry asked walking back to lean on the railings.

"I did and kinda late I know" She laughed and joined him at the railing, feeling the nostalgia of them being there.

"Kinda? The party's almost over." Barry joked as he took a sip of his drink.

"It's the thought that counts." Caitlin followed, she had missed interacting with Barry and not just through a camera, seeing him and hearing his voice in person was so much better. It had been a long while, too long.

"At least you're fashionably late." Barry complimented her. If he's learned anything in college it was self confidence and she indeed looked beautiful tonight.

"I could say the same about you! Since when did Barry Allen wear suits? Where and what have you done to Bartholomew Henry Allen!?" Caitlin joked. Barry had changed, more charismatic and seemingly more matured, he never ceased to amaze her. She couldn't help at look at how the suit fit him so well outlining his body features greatly - he looked so sleek and suave, a different kind of Barry Allen.

"I can assure you that he's all right here, just better." Barry smiled, proud of how much he's grown as a person since eight years ago.

"So how's the life of a bioengineer at STAR Labs?" He asked seriously. He was curious about how her life was now.

"It's not as fun as you think. A lot of research and overtime but it's nice, you get that satisfaction that you're helping people." She expressed her passion for her work which didn't surprise Barry, Caitlin had always been passionate about helping people. Barry admired this value.

"How about you? How's the life of a forensic scientist." Caitlin looked up at him and she was quickly taken by his eyes, a deep earthy green.

"Chemicals, blood, dead bodies, photos of dead bodies, ya know what you would expect from the job but hey I do love putting crooks behind bars with science." He shrugged as he replied. It was really nothing special. A silence followed after them which back then wasn't an issue but time and distance really did bring them apart and they both knew that.

"It's still so nice up here, it's been so long...8 years" Caitlin looked out at the view, astonished by its beauty..

"It has been quite some time.." Barry turned to the view once more, taking it all in. Caitlin took a sip of her own drink before she entered the next subject, feeling a bit out of line.

"How are you and Patty these days?" She asked which took Barry by surprise. Barry cleared his throat and felt a little awkward inside knowing she was uninformed of their parting.

"Patty and I broke up a few months ago before I moved here." He spoke without looking at her.

"Oh...I'm sorry." It was something Caitlin didn't expect to hear. They had looked so happy together in the photos she saw online. "Also you moved back?"

"It's fine, it was under mutual terms." Barry shrugged and took another drink. "And yeah just a few days ago, I thought it'd be nice to go home plus there was an opening here with higher pay. Only thing they didn't mention was sharing a lab with English elitist and a captain who dislikes me." He scrunched his nose at her.

"But hey at least you're back right?" She smiled at him with happiness that he was familiar with. It was that genuine smile, one he's missed.

"How are you and Ronnie?"

Caitlin opened her mouth to answer but she was hesitant to say something. She knew she had to tell him someday.

"Cait, you okay?" He looked for her eyes that seemed to stare out into the space.

"Ronnie and I..." Caitlin bit down on her bottom lip, her inner conscience commanding her to toughen up and say it. "Ronnie and I broke up." Her lips quickly went to a thin line right after.

"I'm sorry." Barry spoke with caution seeing that this subject may be sensitive to her.

"It's okay, it was a long time ago. We broke up during my second year of college." Caitlin admitted to him, taking a drink to calm her a little bit. She looked at Barry's face and she laughed to herself seeing his confusion. She knew he wasn't expecting that.

"Well are you okay now?" Barry tried to be gentle with his words but couldn't help his confusion mixing in.

"Yes, Barry I'm fine" She giggled. "It's just the reason why we did that makes it a little difficult." She said with a sigh.

"And why is that?" Barry was genuinely curious to know. As far as he knew, Caitlin and Ronnie loved each other but then again it had been a very long time and from his experience, many things weren't permanent.

"Barry...I need to confess something to you.." Caitlin turned to him and look deep into his eyes. Barry nodded in response telling her to go ahead. Caitlin took a deep breath before she started, she needed to come clean to him.

"When you told me that you liked me eight years ago...my mind at the time..couldn't properly comprehend what happened. I was so afraid of what would happen to us as friends that I didn't even notice that we stopped talking to each other and we just drifted away." Caitlin stopped, swallowing as she tried not to cry. "I didn't mean for it to happen but I just couldn't bring my self to talk to you for some reason." Barry took a step to try and comfort her with a hug but she put her hands in front of her telling him to let her finish.

"At the same time I just couldn't stop thinking about you and what you told me that night...and that's when I started to feel differently whenever I was with Ronnie. I just...it just wasn't the same anymore - I didn't feel the same anymore. Barry from the moment I met you there was always something that I liked about you. I always though it was because our personalities were the opposite to each other which just brought us closer or the passion we had for science but it never came to mind to me back then that just maybe I felt the same about you too. I wanted to tell you sooner but I saw you with Patty and you were just so happy with her. Who was I to try and put an end to that!?" Caitlin finished her confession wiping her tears away. She didn't care if her make up was ruined, all she cared about that she finally told him after all these years, after trying to ignore them and trying to prove herself wrong, she finally did it.

Barry was speechless, for a second unable to believe his ears but at that same moment he felt his heart race the way it did before. It was like an ember had once again turned into a flame. In response all he could do was hug her, holding her longer than before. She melted into his arms, feeling the comfortability they once had except now it felt warmer. Barry felt Caitlin body relax.

"I don't expect you to reciprocate my feelings but I just needed to get it off my chest." Caitlin sobbed into his shoulder.

"I know...just like I did back then." Barry said as they pulled away slightly but still holding each other close. They stared into each other's eyes, admiring them. "But this time...I think we can give this a chance." Barry just let his instincts go as he found her waist and slowly leaned down placing his lips hers. Caitlin willingly responded to his actions turning her head and deepening the kiss also pulling him closer to her.

When they released each other's lips they were slightly out of breath and their cheeks rosy but they laughed together happily.

"Was the first kiss too soon?" Barry asked with a wide grin on his face. He couldn't stop smiling, there were no words to describe how he was feeling.

"I don't mind." Caitlin shrugged and smilin teasingly back at him. With that she went up and gave him another kiss. They separated when rain slowly started to drip from the sky. They leant their foreheads together and slightly swayed, taking in the peace of the moment, until the rain got heavier.

"Come on let's get out of here. Big Belly Burger on me?" He offered her just like he did many years ago.

"In these!?" Caitlin motioned to her dress and his suit, thinking if they were dressed too fancy for a fast food joint.

"Why not!?" Barry chuckled, he didn't care what they were wearing. He just wanted to be with her. He offered his hand to her. "Let's go?"

Caitlin rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Let's go." She said through another smile, taking Barry's hand. That night was one they'd never forget, both of them feeling a special kind of happiness. Everything just felt right with them together.

* * *

 _3 months later.._

"Bartholomew Henry Allen I have no idea why you're dragging me outside in the middle of the night. Care to enlighten your girlfriend?" Caitlin asked being unable to see through a blind fold over eyes. All she could feel was the light breeze with its cold bite touching her cheeks and Barry's presence behind her; his hands on her shoulders as he guided her. If she appreciated anything at that moment it was the calming sound of the waves nearby.

"It's your first night in Coast City and I thought we could have a late night snack." Barry explained as he guided her out onto the deck behind the beach house where he had set a table for them to eat at.

"And why couldn't we do this inside you know in the comfort and warmth of the living room?" Caitlin asked; if she was standing she would've put her hands on her waist but Barry stilling guiding her.

"Because...I thought this was something you'd want to see this." Barry removed the blind fold from behind her when they came to a stop. Caitlin's hands resting on the wooden railings.

Caitlin's vision came into focus looking up to the sky; the beautiful Coast City sky. It full of stars; more than she'd ever seen, lighting up the sky in a way that Central City could never. The majestic ocean across them reflected the sky perfectly, capturing the stars dazzling from above. It's colour seemed to blend with the sky as they reached the horizon becoming one.

"Wow" were the only words that left her mouth as she truly was mesmerised.

"You said you wanted to see them together right?" Barry placed his hand on hers and Caitlin letting them interlock.

"I did didn't I?" Caitlin giggled as she remembered when they were teenagers and looked over her shoulder to meet Barry's smile. Words couldn't describe how much she loved him and so she did her best to show it. "It's amazing. You're amazing. Thank you." She turned around and rose up to kiss him, his hands finding her waist and her arms around his neck.

"I love you Cait." Barry told her when they separated, leaning their foreheads together. This was everything he ever dreamed of, him and her.

"I love you Barry." Caitlin replied her lips curving up, showing her happiness also through her eyes.

At that moment, even though they had been only dating a few months, after time had tested them so harshly, they couldn't deny that they were made to love each other, that they would remain stuck in each other's hearts no matter what.

"We should eat, the pizza pockets are gonna get cold." Barry laughed gently as they parted but their hands still together.

"Pizza pockets? Good choice." Caitlin made her way to the table that Barry had set with two plates and bottles of water. "Well the sooner we eat the earlier we can sleep I suppose"

"Who said anything about sleeping afterwards?" Barry wiggled his eyebrows with a teasing smile that made butterflies magically appear in Caitlin's stomach and made her cheeks instantly fire up.

"I like the way you think Mr. Allen...but how about we skip the pizza pockets and go to the "afterwards" instead. As a doctor I should warn you, we shouldn't move around too much after eating after all." She responded to him with the same kind of fire in her voice and her smirk, knowing it'd drive him crazy.

"Well whatever the doctor says." Barry raised his eyebrow at her mischievous implication. He quickly stood up and walked to Caitlin's side taking her hands to help her up and out of her seat, to which she willingly and happily let him; only for him to unexpectedly carry her bridal style into the house. She squealed as she felt her feet leave the ground and they laughed as they made their way inside, leaving the pizza pockets to the cold outdoors.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Congratulations! You have chosen the "happily ever after" ending! Thank you so much for reading! If you could review I'd really appreciate it and be truly grateful! I hope you had a good Valentines Day even if you don't celebrate it. Feel free to check out the other ending by clicking to Ch2: Stuck. Once again thank you so much and until next time I guess! :)**_


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